Heidi was my partner of 20 years standing and mother to two of my children; she died in august 2017.
I was in the queue at the post office, waiting to send off some remedies and there was a bit of a wait so I was looking at the artwork on the racks of greeting cards. Watercolours I particularly appreciate and there were plenty to view. A miniature art gallery. One caught my eye in particular: yellow flowers in a blue and white vase; a clever composition beautifully executed. Rather than putting it back in the rack I turned it over to discover it was entitled Sunflowers. I instinctively knew I’d have to have this one because of the sunflowers. In the last spring of her life Heidi had planted sunflowers and one started to flower the day after her death. Only one, very early, one might say premature, standing tall and strong in the middle of the front garden like a totem pole. The sunflower, the flower of Leo, is one of the portals of Nature Heidi comes through to me.
Now I totally get the importance of recognising birthdays and I always think of my family on theirs and I never manage to get it together to put the card in the post and yes, there is always a twinge of guilt I was able to avoid when Heidi was around because she was a great acknowleder of birthdays. So I’m waiting to be served, looking bemused at this card in my hand I’m about to buy and thinking, why am I buying a card? Heidi must want me to send a card to someone, who’s next on the birthday list? A swift calculation revealed it was me. And then it dawned on me; it was my birthday card from Heidi. That rather blew me away as I stood there in the queue. I didn’t have long to compose myself before I went up to see Eddy at the counter. I had to tell him the story of the card as I paid, it’s so beautiful and he likes to be entertained. On the way home I wobbled a bit more intensely but did some walking meditation to calm myself down. On the doorstep I bumped into Rhiannon and showed her the card and told her the story. She turned it over and asked whether or not I knew the name of the artist, I didn’t. Rhiannon pointed out that she has the same surname as Heidi. I told Rhiannon, her mum’s so clever at what she does it makes me weep.